Taking the Advice we give

Isn’t it funny, that when our besties are going through their – what seems to be ongoing and endless – dramas, we always have just that right piece of advice for them, knowing full well if they just (for the love of god) listen to us that they will rid themselves from any negative feelings, thoughts and emotional stress? It’s as if us women are all therapists, dishing out great advice which we were able to utter based on our past mistakes, yet despite this, we can never seem to take our own advice.

When it has to do with someone else we are brilliant. We have all the right answers and see things clearly. Sure sometimes our advice is a bit biased, afterall us women are protectors. We want our friends to be happy and have love for them, so we look into our heart and our strength to advise them, whether they want to hear what we say or not.

Isn’t it ironic that we can give such valuable advice knowing if followed, it will prevent our friends from feeling worse, yet we can never take our own? Why is this? Is it because when we are emotionally connected to something, we are looking at it with rosy-shaded glasses and they are tainting our vision?

When I am in a situation that involves my emotions, my heart definitely wins the competition of heart vs. head. Since I’ve lost some people close to me who passed away early on in life, I’ve learned that all we have is this moment right now. This experience has made me an emotional being to the extent that I listen to my gut and my heart, and deal with the aftermath of that after.

The on-going, life long question that all my friends – both male and female – seem to struggle with (which is why they are seeking advise in the first place) is whether to follow their head or their heart. An ex of mine always wanted to follow his ever-beating, overpowering heart which seemed to rule all, yet he would give himself such a hard time because his friends would advice him to follow his head and logic, which conflicted with his wants and needs.

Going to friends for advice can sometimes be a double edged sword, because deep down, we already know what we are going to do. It ends up leading to frustration on their part when they see things so clearly, yet we make up excuses and defend our actions, which is contrary to the advice they gave (and the time they took to give it).

At the end of the day, we will all do what we want. My suggestion is to always follow your heart and not live with regret. Your heart may lead to more hurt but at least you stayed genuine to yourself.

– Jenny Jen


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