Can I Get Your Number?

What do you say to a gentleman who asks you for your number, after you’ve spent the evening leading him on (unintentionally, but of course)? I don’t know about you ladies, but I find it a struggle to forego dealing-out-my-digits in this day in age, where the go-to move by men seems to be this whole “Give me your phone and we’ll call it from my phone,” thing. It’s as if men have been scorned, fooled and given a faux-phone number one too many times, that the ‘calling from your phone’ thing is their safety net from ice cold, constant rejection. The tough part is, we always seem to have our BlackBerry’s and iPhone’s in our hands and on our tables at all times that we can’t even pretend that ‘we don’t have it on us’ and that they should ‘give us their number and we’ll contact them’ (or not). Define ‘stuck in a corner’.

I understand the mentality behind guys pulling this on-the-spot move, but it puts lots of pressure on us blondes to actually give out our number. Let’s face it, as assertive as we might be, it’s an awkward scenario and we would like to avoid getting a drink spilt on us, or worse, number boy telling his friends what a bitch we are. So we are stuck in a no-win situation and are practically forced to give out our number at his will. Men, if you’re out there: we’re onto you.

So now, the question that begs to be asked is: If you never plan on answering a phone call from the guy who asks you for your number, is it worse to a) give it to him and ignore all calls/text etc., or b) is it better to tell him upfront that you’re just not that into him?

Telling a guy you’re just not that into him isn’t the easiest of feats. In fact, it’s tough as hell (especially when – since he’s clearly interested in you – you’ll likely have to sit through a monologue from him on why you should give him a chance, blah, blah, blah. Yes, women are bitches, but not all of us are. I have this whole I-feel-so-bad-for-him complex going on; you know? When you don’t want to hurt the guy or make him feel rejected? So to avoid that guilt I give guys my number when they ask. What I don’t think I realize at the time is that it hurts way more when the guy gets up the courage to reach out once, twice, maybe even three times (dependent on his desperation and/or appeal of the hard-to-get thing he may have convinced himself you’re playing) to no avail, all while I’m looking at my phone lighting up, intentionally ignoring the call and deleting the texts. Rough break.

Now of course, if he doesn’t bust the typical call from each others phone move then you may have the opportunity to make up a fake number (I know you’ve all done it so please don’t judge me for writing it), but likely the best option of all is to tell the poor lad off the bat that you don’t plan on calling him and don’t want him to call you. If you guys don’t even have each others number yet, you don’t owe him an explanation or any justification. Just do it (like a bandaid, bitches!) My only suggestion is after doing so, perhaps leave the bar/movie theatre/restaurant or wherever you are so you aren’t clouded with said guilt because this party just turned into a pity one.

– Jenny Jen


One thought on “Can I Get Your Number?

  1. Yep. Always tell the truth to the dude, and as early as possible. You'll be surprised how often it works for the better…and you might even end up with a cool friend. He could be thinking the same thing, but just can't overcome the idea of what he should be doing (or what he thinks he should be doing.)

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