I always hear tales about these ferocious women who – when treated poorly or not quite up to their standards – walk away and don’t look back. These are the type of women who are either getting poor service at a salon/restaurant/store, or are on a bad date, and have no fear putting their foot down (mind the pun.) An image of ‘The City’s’ in-house bitch, Olivia Palermo, comes to mind. She’s walked out of meetings and lunches with co-workers and friends who say things that she doesn’t care to hear.
So what’s the story behind the walk out? It is warranted and respected or is it an avoidance mechanism and a sign we can’t deal with what we’re dealt? Have you ever walked away from something?
Well when I came face-to-face with the walk out decision, I totally crumbled. It went something like this:
My nails were looking as if they’ve been through the war and out of fear that they’d rip my tights the next time I put them on/took them off, I forewent going to my go-to manicurist, and settled for an in-and-out type nail place near my apartment. I thought ‘it can’t be that bad’. I thought wrong.
Think: Seinfeld episode where Elaine thinks that she is being made fun of in Korean by the manicurists at her nail salon. She becomes so concerned about what they could be saying, that she has someone go with her to the salon one time to interpret what they’re saying. When Jerry suggests just switching salons, she claim’s it’s her favourite. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inANd0iiY-s
After telling the nightmare-manicurest that I like my nails short and square, she sighed and said it’s a busy day and within under a minute (and not a second for me to say anything) she cut off all my nails with a clipper. By all my nails, I mean there was no white part of the nail. I felt like the only thing shorter than my nails was this woman’s patience. I then was sighing and tisking with her. Each minute of my experience got worse and worse and like Elaine, I was certain the manicurest was talking about me in a different language with the others right in front of me.
I wanted to walk out before she started polishing. I so very badly wanted to, but I just couldn’t. I don’t know if it was the desperation to get my nails done with the cute colour I picked out, or my guilty conscience – perhaps a concoction of them both – but I stayed and I conquered and I left, my head down, knowing I shouldn’t have stayed put and knowing I’d never go back.
Stay or Leave?
The woman who stays…
– is the kind of person who want’s to give the situation the benefit of the doubt. She’s an optimist who tries to see light in a sometimes dark situation. But the woman who stays should be a bit weary and more assertive. Changes are never made sitting in silence. Compare it to a relationship. If you’re disappointed with something your partner does, you would have a talk about it to make your needs known. If they don’t meet your needs once they’ve been informed on how you feel, then you have reason to be upset or walk away. People need to be given the opportunity to correct their flaws.
The woman who leaves…
– is fed up and isn’t willing to waste more time having to deal with the situation. She is an aggressive type who thinks there is no improving the situation so they will avoid it at all costs. But the woman who leaves should try to take a step back and be less reactive and more responsive. People at times need direction and the chance to correct their mistakes. Give some direction. We never get anywhere when we are pushy and complain. The best situation will come when people are talked to in a direct way, without threatening to leave/to not come back/or to blog about their poor experience.
– Jenny Jen