Being a blonde, bronzed, twentysomething naturally invites some turning heads. Being blonde on it’s own comes with a certain mentality, but are we too wrapped up in our pretty little heads? When a stranger of the opposite sex does something nice for us, we seem to be quick to assume that he wants us. So how do we differentiate from the plain-Jane (John) nice guys and the guys who are being nice as a means to an end? We seem to shamelessly confuse attention with intension. But can’t a guy just be nice and make non-commital convo? Are we all just narcissists?
A guy friend of mine told me that he was at a bar on the weekend, went up to a girl he knew from high school to say hi and when he went up to her, she replied by saying “I’m not interested,” before walking away. Now I know this girl. Actually, I know her all too well as she is a good friend of mine. Is she hot as hell? Yes. But is she a cold hearted, conceited bitch? Absolutely not at all. Though that is the impression she left on my poor friend, the typical nice guy, who just wanted to chat since she was standing alone and he was waiting for a friend. Tough luck.
So where did she go wrong?
After spending an evening at a random bar, random boys went up to her offering everything from drinks to their beds and she was fed up. So naturally she assumed if yet another guy was talking to her, he would only be interested in that. It’s not like you see the lovey dovey guys floating around at bars just waiting to find their ‘One’.
What can we collectively learn from the above tale?
Don’t make assumptions. It’s so easy to write someone off and put up a wall in order to self-protect. But maybe the guy who comes up to us at the bar to say hi really just wants to make pleasant conversation and call it a day. Bars are places that invite people of all kinds to come out and socialize. If you tell yourself that every guy there just wants to hook up with you, you’re really limiting yourself. A conversation is harmless. If he’s a pig, you can walk away with dignity and knowingness that you didn’t miss out on great convo and a few laughs.
There are many times when I’m sure – like myself – you fall prey to thinking that someone is into you. In turn, you may end up embarrassing yourself like my friend did this weekend at the bar, blowing off a guy who wasn’t even interested. Here are other familiar scenarios where we may think we are being hit on. Now the truth is ladies, yes, maybe people in the scenarios below are in fact friendly flirting, but unless boy point-blank asks you on a date or for your number, chances are you’re living in fantasy land.
– the male barista at Starbucks up sizes your short to a venti, free of charge
– a guy compliments you/your style/your car
– a guy asks you what book you’re reading
– a guy offers to take a picture of you and your friends while you’re out
– he offers to get you a drink at the bar (and all your friends too)
– he makes small talk in the elevator
– he locks eyes with you and smiles at you from afar
– he does the up/down check out
– he passes you on the street and turns around to check you out
– he introduces you to his friends at a bar and takes pictures with you
– he asks about where you work/go to school etc.
I’m certain you’ve experienced the above and thought that this guy might be into you. But it as simple as him actually making a move to pursue you that actually shows he cares.
– Jenny Jen