Blondes Guide to Going to a Baseball Game

‘Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowds’ fans cheer as I get to my seat, hot dog and cooler in hand (a baseball staple I can’t seem to resist). I sit down, as I struggle not to spill/drip and do a full crowd scan, before I settle into my seat. The vibe is contagious. So much positive energy and so many things happening. Firstly, we have the game going on, and with the bases loaded and one of our best players up to bat, that’s saying a lot. Then we have the hecklers who say the most outrageously entertaining one liners. At times I feel like I should cover my own ears. Then, there’s the obvious people watching to be had, oh and the jumbotron alone is a true focal point (extra points if you catch yourself on the big screen). The food options are endless and the people walking back and forth down the aisles selling the food seem to also cause a scene; they offer everything from catchy come-hither sayings to balancing the entire tray of snacks on their heads. Nothing like a good balancer to make you want to dig into your Gucci belt (yes I know they are passe, but definitely an integral purse to bust out for a game) and whip out your bills.

Go to a baseball game and make your way through all nine innings by watching way more than just the game. With a seventh-inning stretch to boot, you know you’ll make it through. Now as a blonde, bronzed, twentysomething, we haven’t necessarily been to our fair share of games. This means we are just a little bit clueless when it comes to baseball basics. Well fret no more my faux-fan you. With these simple tips you’ll be all set just in time to make the next home game.

What do I wear to a baseball game?

– Casually cute is the name of the game. Think ripped jeans, a band t-shirt and cardigan, or a black basic jumper. Feel free to flirt with the colour scheme of your cities baseball team. Keep in mind that if it’s a sunny day, the least amount of clothes the better because you’re bound to be hot. Leave the heels and skirts for brunches with girls or a date night out with your man. There is no place for them at a baseball diamond and they are most definitely frowned upon.

What is the one thing I must remember when going to the game?

– Sunglasses. Whether they are oversized and trendy or classic aviators, this is an accessory no girl should go without. Shades are the number one thing to remember when going to a game.

What do I do when I see the mascot?

– You take a picture with him. You watch his every move. Mascots have more energy then anyone else in the building. Mascots remind us of our childhood, so bring out your inner playful side and make the most of your game time experience.

How much money do I bring to the game?

– There are so many treats, drinks, food options and paraphernalia offered at games. But everything comes with a cost (what else is new). The best advice I can give is to stick to a number and do not, I repeat, do not go to the bank machine after your pre-planned funds run out. The bank machine is a symbol for excessive, poorly thought out spending. If you think you’ll have two drinks and some food, $50 may be safe. Judge for yourself but stick with it. I have faith in you blondie!

What is the proper ‘baseball etiquette’ if a friend treats me to the game?

– A drink is a definite, but if they go to the food line first, I’d offer to cover that as well. They can say no, they can accept, but under each circumstance, you must always offer and should always insist.

What do I do when the ball is coming right at me?

– Well girlie, chances are you didn’t bring your glove to the game, which means in the exact moment of the ball coming towards you, you’re likely in sheer fear. Before the game begins, mention to the person your with that a ball coming towards you is overly intimidating and make them vow that under every circumstance, if it comes your way, they will play the knight and shining armour role. I have had the ball come at me three separate times at three separate games – which is quite rare. And the gentlemen by my side always seem to follow through on their word.

As per usual, here are some fellow blonde baseball fans to get you in the mood:

– Jenny Jen


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