He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

The book ‘He’s Just Not that Into You’ was made into a movie for reason. And no, that reason wasn’t because there weren’t any more copies on book shelves (though I wouldn’t be shocked if that were the case.) This blunt book and now movie is based on the concept that if you have to wonder whether the guy is into you or not, chances are, he’s not.

Us ladies spend many a coffee dates and phone chats with our fellow scorned female friends, analyzing and obsessing over words said and/or texted, as we try to find meaning behind what the guy of our fancy really means and whether he ultimately likes us. I have spent countless hours with countless friends, studying every word, glance, and amount of ring tones the guy allowed before picking up the phone (if he picked it up at all) and it isn’t pretty. So yes, the book is out there and the movie allows us to observe first hand how obvious a man’s lack of actions are, however us daydreamers can’t seem to stop making up excuses for so and so. So here I sit, in a state of bluntness, with a clear goal of getting this crucial message across.


Still wondering if the guy on your radar has you on his? Stop pulling the petals off a flower saying ‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not’ to see what the outcome is. Trust me, the flower – like magic 8 balls, and your friends – doesn’t have the answer. However, I do and I’ll make it nice and clear. Want to know if he’s into you? Read on…

– If x messages you to make a set plan when sober, he loves you. If x message you drunkenly ‘after hours’, he loves you not.

– If x buys you a drink at the bar (and also waits outside the women’s washroom for you as he holds your drink), he loves you. If x ignores you at the bar all night, then asks you to leave with him, he loves you not.

– If x answers your calls when you call him and responds to your text/pins right away (and also initiates communication), he loves you. If x never answers your calls and always lets them go to voicemail and doesn’t respond to your text/pins for a couple days, he loves you not.

– If x says he wants to take you out for dinner and drinks and actually follows through, he loves you. If x says he wants to take you our for dinner and drinks and it never actually comes into fruition, he loves you not.

– If x messages you all the time and also hangs out with you, he loves you. If x messages you all the time but you never see each other in person, he loves you not.

– If x surprises you with something that you love like your Starbucks order or a bag of your favourite Jelly Belly’s (aww he remembered!), he loves you. If x never surprises you or just brings you something that he likes, he loves you not.

– If x takes you out for a meal of food to a restaurant frequented by other people you guys know, he loves you. If x orders in food to his place or takes you to a random resto in the middle of nowhere, he loves you not.

– If x compliments you on something unique about your personality (especially something you view as a flaw) he loves you. If x compliments you on a body part or revealing clothing, he loves you not.

– If x is single and is spending time after work and on weekends with you, he loves you. If x is in a relationship with someone else and is still in talks with you, he loves you not.

– If x sends you emails with places or events that he thinks you’ll like and then makes plans to go to them with you, he loves you. If x send you emails with places or events that he thinks you’ll like and then just leaves it at that, he loves you not.

– If x brings you out with his friends, he loves you. If x’s friends don’t even know you exist and/or are unable to describe what you look like, he loves you not.

– If x takes off his jacket/scarf/mittens in the freezing cold because you are shivering (even if he is too), he loves you. If x doesn’t even offer to warm you up, he loves you not.

– If x gives you a key to his place, he loves you. If x hasn’t ever invited you over, he loves you not.

– If x tells you he wants to kiss you, then does, he loves you. If x tells you he wants to kiss your luscious lips, so you lean in and he pulls away, he loves you not.

– If x picks you up so you don’t get your peep-toe ankle boots wet (and he doesn’t ridicule you for wearing peep-toe shoes in the dead of winter), he loves you. If x makes you trek through the blizzardy snow foregoing a cab because he only lives four blocks away, he loves you not.

Despite reading this do you still think he may love you, when friends tell you he loves you not? Put down that flower and instead use your fingers to drop me a line at blondebronzedtwentysomething@hotmail.com and I’d be glad to help put your worrisome mind at ease.

– Jenny Jen

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One thought on “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

  1. I find “He’s Just Not That Into You” is way too much in favour of a woman barely making a move in a relationship, but I will give it the benefit of the doubt until I’ve read the whole book, not just parts.

    As for your article, love the style of “If…he loves you. If…he loves you not.”

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