So things are getting hot and heavy with you and you-know-who and after an ongoing makeout sesh, and once he finally gets up the confidence and comfort to let his fingers roam, you suddenly jolt him into rejection mode, as you grab his hand and push it away, your tongue still in his mouth. He thinks you’re playing the role of the tease, and tries again to no avail (which only makes him want it more). That is, until he gets frustrated, feels rejected, confused and has spent the past persistent moments in time trying to figure out what is going on in that blonde crazy head of yours.
What men don’t know is that the hand push is the result of two things: We either aren’t up to date with our waxing appointment, or it’s that time of month. Either way, the hand push never means ‘I want your hand there.’ Yes, we are women and yes, we do tend to invest in a little game playing nature, however the hand push away is not a time where we want it, nor do we want it bad. The problem is, contrary to popular belief, men don’t read minds. So as we are there thinking of the stubble on our legs and our cave women like hair down there, he is thinking that we are either a tease, or that he’s a loser. I’m here to act as a mediator so this lack of communication can stop.
What tends to come next – after realization that he’s not passing first base hits – is the dreaded ‘Is everything ok?” question. He looks into your eyes and as you avoid his, you try to rack your brain for a pretty little excuse so you don’t have to confess that it’s because you’re Godzilla, or worse, that you have a heavy flow. So instead you sit there and come up with an excuse that is so obviously an excuse that he then becomes sketched out and wants to know what you are hiding.
Sometimes however, us women are happy to have these two things in our way in order to prevent us from moving too fast with a guy. We have an upcoming date, or meet a babe at the bar and instead of rushing into some euphoric oblivion, we then can fake control (aka play hard to get) but not because we don’t want it but because we don’t have a choice. In turn he develops further respect, as do we, and the anticipation starts to develop. Check.
It has become so common place in conversations for us to use the fact that we didn’t just get a wax or are on our periods to our girlfriends who ask us what’s going to happen with so-and-so. ‘Thank god I’m on my period’ we say, ‘Now I know for sure nothing will happen this time and I won’t look like a little slut’. Or, ‘I want to see him but I know I can’t give it up too soon even if I’m tempted under the pressure since my waxing lady wasn’t free.’ Easier said then done my little femme fatals’. Once in the situation when we see that look of lust in his eyes, that burning sensation to act on our impulses emerges and we back ourselves up against a wall.
The solution? Either be up front or don’t let your kiss goodnight result in a ‘Come in for a coffee,’ or a ‘On top of the clothes rub down.’ The boy won’t be happy you led him astray and you’ll have to spin a story that will look more foolish then the actual truth. And yes, skipping your period by taking extra pills in your birth control pack or keeping your waxing lady’s number on speed dial is a little over board.