I Like it Stiff

‘I like it stiff,’ I responded whole-heartedly in response to the guys question. His brows furrowed as he gave me the once over, likely thinking ‘Is this girl for real?’ I smiled at him in anticipation, but he did nothing but just stand there, before saying “Wow.” I smiled at him, hoping I’d get my request met.

Note to self: Work on your word choice, after all, I am a writer. I didn’t mean to double-entender myself, but he did ask me what I wanted to drink. Apparently ordering a double vodka soda is shocking. Is it because I’m a pint-sized little lady or is because he offered me a drink and not two drinks (budget much?). Or maybe, is it because I’m a blonde, bronzed, twentysomething and should be ordering something pink and cliche like a cosmopolitan. As if – martini glasses are so not user friendly, and I was wearing my new 4-inch Tory Burch pumps that night – I couldn’t afford the inevitable spill that never fails to occur when holding the way too widely brimmed martini glass…Especially at one of these tight, dimly lit, overpacked ‘trendy’ bars. A double it is. Make it a short glass.

But yet another double standard to add to the ever-growing list. Us women get looked at or questioned when ordering a stiffy, yet guys do it (while ordering a shot at the same time) and get away with it scotch free. Why is this? Does a double-kinda-dudette make a guy fear his masculinity will be challenged? Are they too expensive (sorry honey, I can only afford a single)? Or is it just not the typical order, so it is just questioned to ensure they heard our pouty little mouths’ right? I don’t know the answer, but I do know that the responses I get to my drink of choice are getting kinda old. It also made me think, what other drinks do girls order that blow guys away?

I think the red-bull vodka fad has put a dent in a number of wallets. A beer is fair game, but a $20 possibility of seeing boob at the end of the night, not so much. Tequila shots are pretty impressive, so long as he doesn’t have to hold your golden locks back come end of evening. The red wine…save it for a intimate setting and not a sweaty, steamy, electronic playing club (out of place much?)

At the end of the day my little lush’s, if the guy digs you, your drink of choice is not an issue for him. The funnest guy I ever dated in history of dating would start a tab at the bar, and when he’d do so, he’d point to me and say “She’s here with me tonight. Get her and her friends whatever they want and put it on my tab.” His intention was for me to have a worry-free, fun time and he was more than happy (on a number of occasions) to promote partying. He did so time and time again, and I must admit he was just the funnest person to party with. P.S. Former flame, if you are reading this: on behalf of my girlfriends and I, thank you. You’re a dime a dozen.

Here are some of our favourite female front-women who may too like their drinks extra stiff:


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