How I’ve Named You in my Blackberry

For those of you Sunday night TV fans, Larry David had a classic episode on ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ this season called ‘Denise Handicapped.’ Larry began dating a woman named Denise, who was in a wheelchair. Since they met at a coffee shop, Larry only knew her by her first name, so when storing her in his Blackberry, under ‘name’ he entered her in as ‘Denise Handicapped’ so he could easily identify her when she called. When Larry had a water damage issue on his phone, he realized he didn’t know her last name, and he had no way of tracking her down for their next date. Here is the scene of him and his housemate, Leon, discussing how they store people’s names in their phones. You must click the link below for the laughter that will ensue in this too-relatable scene:

In the above clip Larry explains how he stores peoples names in his Blackberry, “That’s how I remember these names. Don’t you do that in your Blackberry? You put names down with jobs and some associations so you remember who they are. I have Shawn Yoga, you know the yoga instructor, Theresa Masseuse…” Leon agree’s he does the same and goes on to read a list of names of the women he’s hooked up with, which in his phone he’s input with something about their bodies.

Tonight, I was about to leave my meditation course, and I wanted to get the email of a girl in the class who I’ve become close with over the nine-weeks that this class has taken place. Since I didn’t know her last name, and even if I asked I knew I may not make the connection when scrolling my phone to contact her in the future, so I decided to store her in my Blackberry as ‘Alison Meditation.’ I caught myself leaning my Blackberry towards my chest so she couldn’t see how she was being stored, but then I confessed to her that I was adding her in as ‘Alison Meditation.’ She laughed and we discussed how we have people stored in our phones. I’ve always been a nickname girl. Many of my nearest and dearest friends have a fun name, and I tend to store them under their nicknames as opposed to their formal first and last name. The thing is, when you are getting a call from ‘Batman’ and you’ve left your Blackberry on your desk at work to go to the washroom, people begin to wonder about you.

Lately, I’ve had some trouble with the whole storing people in my phone as either a detailed name or a witty nickname, as opposed to their actual given name, due to this whole you-can’t-use-a-handheld-phone-in-your-car thing. After I leave the office for the day and start to do my usual call backs and catch-ups (I have that long commute home, can you think of a better time?) I now have to use ‘voice dial’ in order to complete my calls. The pre-recorded female Blackberry voice comes on and says “Say a command,” to which I say “call Nicki’s newest of her new cells.’ Yes, thats how I have my friend Nicki saved in my phone. I mean hello, this girl has switched cell phone numbers and when she sent out a text a year or two back saying she has a new cell, I thought I’d make a detailed note in my phone that that specific number is in fact Nicki’s newest of her new cells. Voice dialing operator chick can never seem to comprehend, as she says “Did you say: Call Nicki’s cell?” To which I say “no” seeing as though I never deleted her old cell and that phone was given to her mom, so no I don’t want to call Nicki’s cell which is her old cell which is her mom, because frankly today, I just want to talk to Nicki’s newest of her new cells.

However, this voice dialling thing has taught me the proper pronunciation of my friends names who got stored in under their basic given name. It’s great hearing how the Blackberry operator chick says everyones names. People sound more sophisticated with their name said in a monotone, slowed down voice. I actually recorded my own number in the phone with my name, just so I could hear her say it. Yes, really.

Do you ever wonder how you are stored in other peoples phones? Could you be ‘Blonde bitty,’ or ‘Girl from Saturday night,’ or just maybe ‘Don’t pick up calls from this number?’

What do you have people stored as in your phone?

Here are a few of my favourites from my Blackberry:

– Mark Blue Eyes
– Yorkville hair chick with piercing
– Snow
– Downtown Hero
– and someones first name and last name followed by a question mark, since they mumbled their number

Note to you blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings who want to play around with naming people in your Blackberry’s:

– Always be sure to remember how you store someone. Sexting has become prevalent – this idea of sending sexually suggested messages to someone else, and you don’t want to send a late night text to ‘My Daddy’ thinking it’s your latest fling, when in fact it’s your daddy.
– Make the nicknames nice and easy to avoid messaging the wrong person, and make sure they are names that – if they call you when you’re away from your phone and someone else see’s it on the screen – that they won’t change the way they feel towards you. Oh and beware, if you can’t find your cell and you are with a person and ask them to call it to help you find it, be sure it’s not a name that will make them not want to see you again.

Now get out those Blackberry’s ladies, and re-store up a storm.

– Jenny Jen

aka JJ, Jenny from the Block, Jeje…you get where I’m going with this…


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