The Grass Is Greenest When…

The grass is always greener, so the story goes. Except however, when it’s not.

To be at a place where nothing holds you back or brings you down. To be at a place where you can make decisions for yourself by yourself. To be at a place where you can leave your phone unattended and on silent if you will, with no need to check it or check in, to wait or to need. To be at a place where you catch yourself smiling because of something you yourself accomplished, not a smile that came from anothers actions. To be.

When we’re dealing with issues in relationships, we sometimes wonder what it would be like to be single yet again, longing for the days when disappointment and misunderstandings had no effect on us. When single and possibly feeling lonely, we often long to be in a relationship and to find “the one.” They say people want what they don’t have and the grass is greener effect is indication of just that.

But it is when we are in a good, healthy place, when we attract both a mate and a relationship that will serve us well. What better time of year to put your best foot forward than the holiday season, as we approach a new year? So as you nod your head in agreement as your blonde lockes shake over your shoulder, I want you to use that mentality to shake everything else off your shoulders as well. This my little ladies is the very first step to becoming the best you you can be.

Let go of whatever it is you’re holding onto. A past partner, heartbreak, confusion, misunderstandings, tension with friends or family, disappointment. Let it all go. Acceptance and forgiveness are the greatest gifts you can give yourself. We can’t change our past but we can take control of our present. Do what excites and inspires you. Breath in your passion. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Don’t defend, nor justify. You avoid drama by keeping true to your word, not making assumptions, doing your best and not taking things personally, as expressed in The Four Agreements. So do just that. You will notice that when you are your best self, that you will attract a like minded mate when you least expect it.

The grass is greenest when you yourself are fully, completely, purely satisfied with your own life and have no need for anything or anyone else. They instead become but a bonus, yet someone else who you can share your triumphs and positive energy with. When there might be some challenges, some bad, some amazing and some over-the-top things that happen, but you’re able to maintain a stability throughout them all, as you navigate through what comes in a level-headed fashion. Therefore it seems that it isn’t so much as how green the grass actually is, but your ability to water the grass no matter what. I always thought that it was really rather serendipitous that all of my serious relationships started on Christmas. How the stars must have aligned for me to be found by others on this specific date, and end up experiencing such powerful, loving relationships. I now know that it is a little more than just fate, as I once thought or just a lucky day. Instead it is my state of mind at this time of year; the reflection and in turn acknowledgement of my years’ accomplishments, and ok fine…a little thing I call luck (though it may just be my holiday glow!)

- Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source

Bedtime Boyfriend Rituals

Falling asleep in our mans arms; a favourite past time for most. With his arm around you before you trail off into a dream world, you already feel a part of one. When a guy wraps his arms around us, we often feel comforted, attended to, cared for, connected. We are oblivious to the fact that circulation in his arms may be long gone, and that it takes him much longer to fall asleep in attempts to accommodate how we’re curled up and not how he wants to be curled up. But the boy likes the whole cuddling thing for all the same reasons as us, so he does it despite it’s downfalls. That is until one day (perhaps after the few first months of the excitement that is sharing a bed) wears off, he wants to sleep sans you in his arms. So, when he falls asleep his arms to himself, here’s what you need to know (and remind yourself of) before you take it personally and ship his cute butt off to the unnecessary couch:

1) One Step Ahead: He has likely been thinking about not holding you to sleep for a while now. Often, before we take action, we ruminate and contemplate. He has likely played out this situation in his head, and is acting accordingly at a time when he feels comfortable enough to pull away; when he thinks you’re comfortable enough with him pulling away. Though it may come to a shock to you, he has mentally prepared himself for a cuddle-free sleep.

2) Big Balls: The courage it takes to do this – with the knowingness that a) you may be offended, b) you may take it personally and c) you may start a ‘Why don’t you care about me?’ fight bringing up all past minor moments of ways (you percieved) he didn’t show you that he cared – is quite large. Give the guy some credit. You are still sharing a bed, he’s still foregoing his likely learned ‘on a diagnal’ sleep patterns and you can still nuzzle up to each other before sleep falls upon you. Be happy you have a man who is assertive, and not one who is passive-aggressive, holding up resentment and blaming you in his mind for his few-and-far-betweens’ of good sleeps.

3) It’s Not You, It’s Me: We are often thrown off by change of any sorts. And just because he didn’t hold you to sleep last night, doesn’t mean he’s never going to let you fall asleep in his arms again. To function properly we all need a good nights sleep and if he isn’t comfortable for any reason, grant him the freedom to sleep how he see’s fit knowing you wouldn’t want to be made to feel bad if you wanted to get comfy.

- Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

One of ‘em Days

It’s been one of those months. You know, the type where everything that can go wrong, does. Yet despite the mirage of events that have happened to me this month, I close off March with a feeling of full completeness. Of happiness. Of content.

Numerologists say the number 27 is one that represents complete fullness. Today, on the 27th, I feel just that.

The Bad That Partook in March:

- my laptop broke (thanks to a drink in a long stemmed glass that spilt on the center of my MacBook key pad)
- my car died on the DVP (Toronto highway) during morning rush hour on the snow infused road
- my beloved yoga mat (wrapped in a beautiful vintage scarf which was a gift given to me that held sentiment) was stolen from my yoga studio
- the woman I was temping for at an office job (that helped donate to my ‘spending account’) came to its inevitable end
- my BlackBerry was on the fritz there for a good week or so.

But as each event happened one at a time, instead of overreacting and making each situation worse than it was, I instead accepted each as it happened. Sure it would cost a few thousand to replace my cars’ engine, and another thousand at least to replace my Mac, but it’s just money and that money can help me solve the problems. I realized that I was fortunate enough that I was able to pull over to the shoulder of the highway before the car died, and I was in a safe (albeit cold) spot. I was lucky enough that my MacBook’s hard-drive managed to fight a winning battle, and though my computer needs to be replaced, the hard-drive (and tons of my pieces of writing) are safe and sound. And yes it’s unfortunate that my temporary extra money on the side job was ending, because those paychecks would’ve been rather useful with the whole carless/laptopless thing I gots’ going on. But how lucky I am to now have my days free to use at my leisure; to focus on the more important things in my life, my writing (paper to pen for now – except for when I get to borrow my boys MacBook) and my yoga practice (which is now done on one of the studios rental mats, a quick fix to my missing mat situation). And how lucky I am to realize that all these situations revolve around ‘items’ that are replaceable. My friendships, relationships and family are solid. I am certain that the attitude I took in regards to all these situations is one that has even strengthened my closest relationships. This is because people are magnetically pulled to others who breed a sense of clarity and comfort. I feel at peace what I am putting out and hopefully sharing this attitude and perspective will allow others to do the same. To not go into overdrive in the moment that issues arise, to have an ease instead of an anxiety prevail within your state.

Today, my brother had his first child, my niece, Hannah Eve named after my late mother. Though this would’ve been a monumental day for my mom, instead of feeling sad for my brother to not have her support, I feel a strength in knowing that Hannah has my mom forever imbedded in her in her name. In her title. By seeing the glass half full and using my perception of the situation to make my fate, I took unfortunate and costly circumstances and wrote them as both learning curves and experience. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments where I give myself guilt, like not being able to blog for stretches of time this month since I didn’t have much access to laptop use. This guilt came with the thoughts that I let my readers down and would maybe lose the daily ones for lack of updates. But I then let go of those thoughts and feelings and accepted that it is what it is and things will work themselves out. They always do.

We need not ruin our present – no matter how disruptive it seems – by giving into thoughts or anxiousness. We should instead breathe and appreciate each moment, as we acknowledge that things could always be worse off.

- Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.