Like A Puzzle

Are we ever know it alls or what? We are always one step ahead as we never want to be one step behind. We try to interpret events that happen to us both as they occur and after the fact, looking for clues to try to put the pieces together. To try to make sense of the situations we find ourselves in. Because let’s face it, as right as we feel things are, they are often too good to be true. Now I’m not going to be a pessimistic princess here, but there is something to be said for instincts and having a hunch. In hindsight, we are rewarded the opportunity to look back on things clearly, seeing signs that should’ve shouted out at us that things were ‘off’.

Thinking back on events past is something many of us do in hopes of breeding clarity. We play detective (a hot, sexy detective in all black, of course) and as we put a magnifying glass up to those things that threw us off that we didn’t want to look at, it’s often easy to see how clear things really are. As we play playwright, we can write a full fledged script on the who, what, where, why, when and how’s of whatever the subject matter is. And by doing so, a story is created, often times coming quite close to how the events actually played out, though we won’t ever know so with certainty.

For those girls who have had guys back off from them out of nowhere, which then leads to a demise of the relationship causing them to, no doubt, investigate and put the pieces together to make sense of it all, the truth is always right in front of their very eyes. When you know someone and their habits well enough, and have social media (offering timelines) at your disposal, actions (and lack thereof) make for some hardcore knowingness, despite the guarantee. Though one can never be sure of actualities, never under estimate the power of the human mind, perception and your initial instincts. Though they may not provide the closure you feel you deserve, they come a close second. Sounds like your hard work can still pay off there, Sherlock.

- Jenny Jen Holmes

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Try as we might, we are not perfect. Each of us have unique qualities that form together to create the wonderful, whimsical character that we are. Some qualities are admired, perhaps even envied and others are not as flattering. The beauty about relationships that work, is accepting the not so hot qualities for what they are, and not letting these flaws filter how you perceive your mate.

Where we go wrong, is letting one negative aspect about someone hold our thoughts hostage, creating a downward spiral effect as we look at the bad, and blame our partner for it. Part of growing and developing is all the baggage that has helped shape who we are: the good, the bad, the ugly. Sometimes, in the name of love, it’s important to let go of the expectation of a ‘perfect’ mate, anticipate and save face for when some of the bad comes out and practice patience as you show them that you can be their rock, and won’t run from their little learned behaviours. As you continue to grow as a couple, new patterns will be learned and you will be able to embrace and support each other, vices et al.

So how do you deal when your partner pulls out a trait that leads to your frustration, yet again? Change your thought process and don’t take it personally. Bring it to their attention after-the-fact to help them build awareness, and most importantly let it go. You are with the one you’re with despite downfalls. By letting it go and not letting them be a victim to their vices, you are in turn showing just how much of a partner and team you are.

- Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.