Us women are known to somewhat – how you say – “misread” situations. When in a position or situation we tend to have an idea of what’s going on and run with that notion as we look for confirming beliefs, as opposed to seeing the full picture for what it is. Case in point: We hear from a dude we may have once crushed on in the past, seemingly out of the blue and instead of thinking ‘He want’s me,’ we think ‘What does he want from me?’ We go on a date with a guy who – at the end of the date – doesn’t lean in for that anticipated first kiss and tell ourselves ‘He’s just not that into me,’ all whilst avoiding the very clear fact that your dinner date with him lasted four (or so) hours. Or you might be single, spending all your days (and hours, and minutes) back and forth texting and emoticon sharing with another single guy, but since he never asks you out nor has he yet to initiate a plan, you assume he’s just messaging you to ‘Keep his options open,’ as opposed to maybe seeing that he’s just trying to get to know you before he makes that bold move.
Now I get it, it isn’t safe for us blonde, bronzed, babes to be optimistic if a situation clearly doesn’t call for it, but it is rather healthy to, not only perceive a situation in a level headed fashion, giving it the benefit of the doubt, but also be clear with our intentions and be confident enough to ask others about theirs, when feeling confused, uncertain or doubtful. Raise your hand for all the times you’ve left a date, only to dial up your bestie the second you walk in the door to try to decode what x, y and z meant on the date. Intuitive though your best friend might be, she certainly is not in the head of the guy you were just with. Ride the wave. Feel him out. Don’t analyze but instead grasp the situation with a big picture mentality. If you reach a point where you generally feel confused or are aware that you might be on different pages, it’s better to read between the lines and – if you dare – ask him to be more clear. If only we had a legend for what all those emoticon’s and looks, and endless banter really means; if only the matters when it comes to the opposite sex were that easy.
From my experience, like breeds like so if you start thinking the best of situations instead of the worst, if you start expecting good things instead of the bad, you’ve already done most of the work. Reframe you dauntless darling, you.
- Jenny Jen
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