He pulls out the seat for you before you sit down. He opens the door for you. He orders you another drink as yours is nearing the end. He waits for you outside the washroom when you’re out together. He insists on paying the bill and he even gives a generous tip (and doesn’t even mention it or complain about the price!) He is – what anyone would refer to as – a gentleman. And yet, despite his chivalrous charm, something is missing. Something you can’t really pinpoint. An edge? Some spice? Something of that sort. Yet, in your wildest dreams of the ideal guy, you picture someone who is doing the very things he is; who is saying all the right words you’ve been wanting to hear forever. And yet it lacks the drama. Seems too easy. So you break free even though he did nothing wrong, leaving him ultimately confused, bewildered and in shape to be worse for wear when the next woman comes into the picture.
Do we teach men to be dicks? We complain and moan and groan to anyone who will listen when a guy seems so complicated; so hard to get. We hate being kept waiting on end, never sure when we’ll hear from him, let alone see him. And yet, we expect it as the norm and therefore accept that kind of treatment. Some call it game playing, I call it being a crazy bitch. But despite how you refer to it, it is another mixed message we are giving guys. We are showing them that nice guys in fact do finish last, and instead of being his considerate self we are telling him to ignore our calls, not be so available and not be so…whipped, for a lack of better words.
We are typically attracted to bad boys because they keep us on our toes. There is something exciting about not knowing what to expect. But if you look at where your priorities lie it is likely to – one day – settle down. It’s important to keep this in mind because a perfect mate is likely one who is dependable, reliable. One we can count on. One who isn’t a commitmentphobe. And we all know how easy it is to find ourselves caught up in a relationship of sorts with another and how hard it is to break free from the comfort and convenience of it all.
Beware of your selection; beware of your patterns. If you’re currently single, that probably means that something up until now that you’ve been doing hasn’t worked out. Sure a safe pick isn’t so fun on paper, but there are ways to introduce fun into your relationship where you aren’t being constantly neglected, hurt and unattended to. Choice is yours pretty girl. Just don’t complain when you knowingly pick the bad guy.
- Jenny Jen
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