Why do we deem it ok to send text messages and utter words to the guy in our life, when we’d be embarrassed if another were to see or hear these words? Why does a sense of comfort with one make it ok to put them down, press their buttons and test their patience? To text them ad nauseum in hopes of getting a certain sort of response? With people being so accessible these days, we often act before we think. We act in the heat of the moment. We shoot a message when we should likely stay mum. And once we break the seal on our anger, we continue to message, even when our texts go unresponded. Then, we are left to deal with the consequences.
For this I blame our own insecurities. Our need to be reassured by another. A need for control when we feel like we have none.
Have you ever been a culprit of a message which you’ve regretted the morning after? How mortifying it is that for some reason or another we thought it was ok to send the message. How heartbreaking that another saw as at our weakest; unstable, so to say. This is shown when, normally we’re as cute as a button and as sweet as can be, and yet something triggered us to act otherwise. How unfair to the recipient who likely can then view you as a Jekyle and Hyde type, never knowing which one to expect. Never knowing whether to open yet another text from you for fear of your words.
We all know the best thing for the recipient to do is to not respond, for if they do we will only be pushed more to continue on. Yet, when we feel our weakest and need reassurance most, we tend to push more and more. How unfair for our partner. How uncalled for. How sad.
Next time you are triggered by something and want to react, remind yourself that by texting or emailing, there’s a record. Is this how you want to present yourself? If someone knew nothing about you and only saw this, would you say that this is how you’d want to be assessed? Don’t think so doll. Ask yourself what the real issue and if you choose to reach out to your partner, use your awareness to be clear about your wants and needs. When you push someone or act in an unbecoming way, you end up pushing others away. You can only doing something so much before it becomes viewed as a character trait. One that I’m sure many wouldn’t think outweighs the good. Smarten up and instead of seeking that attention you so very badly need, give it to yourself in some way, in a way that isn’t desperate or jeopardizing to yours or others self worth.
- Jenny Jen
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