How soon we forget the pain felt only hours ago. The heartbreak. Our minds telling us that we’re: not good enough, not worthy enough, not likeable, uncared for. How angry we are at another for getting under our skin. How angry we are at ourselves for letting them. Perhaps we shed some tears as the realization hits that things aren’t as great as they seem. That the pedestal in which we thought we were sitting on isn’t golden but is rusty, is faltered, is about to clapse.
Because, as it goes, we seem to always forget the bad. How down and destructive we once felt. How filled with negative emotion, because of a happening with him. We are creatures of comfort so much so that – as a little bit of time passes – we rest our pretty little heads and wake up with a clean slate. How unhealthy. How unfortunate. How deceiving.
We are built to experience hurt and pain in the heart so we can learn from it. So we can protect ourselves. So we can have a level of self growth to ensure it doesn’t happen again. So why, when we get so very hurt, do we push it away and avoid the obvious honesty of the situation? Why do we continue to allow people in our lives hurt us? Or allow the same person to continue to?
Girls, women (cough,) why prey-tell do we do this? Why do we allow others to hurt us, then fall for their words of forgiveness as soon as they are uttered (or even worse, texted) to us? Why does a simple ‘I’m sorry, babe” get someone off the hook for something that made us doubt ourselves? It isn’t about apologies, it’s about insuring the same act doesn’t get repeated. It’s about learning a lesson. It’s about drawing boundaries, clearly, showing another what you will and won’t put up with.
Don’t be weak and accept an apology if you are still hurt. Don’t let another make you feel guilty for something they’ve done. Forget not how low you felt, how you had to reach out to another, for it is that feeling that shows you the power in which you allow them to have over you. Instead, stand up for yourself. Take time apart. Test the waters elsewhere. We often get so caught in our own mini-movies that become our dating experiences that we don’t know how unfairly we are being treated. Take off that blindfold and genuinely observe the reality of what is. If you’re not ok with it, if you wouldn’t want others to observe how you’ve been treated (out of embarrassment) then perhaps you know deep down what you have to do, for once and for all.
- Jenny Jen
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