Doubting his words when they are all you want to hear

There is no messing with a woman who wants to hear certain words from a fella of her fancy.  Whether they are words of reassurance.  Whether they are words of flattery.  Whether they are words of love.  When we have something in our mind about what we need him to tell us, once he does, it’s never enough.  Even if he promises he’s being honest; even if he swears on his life.  When we are feeling kind of low, hearing it once, twice, again and again never seems to hit that sweet spot.

And so, how can we ever be satisfied?  What’s a poor guy to do when he’s doing what you want and it’s still not good enough?  And furthermore, why can’t we believe the words we’ve been wanting to hear?  Why do we thirst for them so, a thirst never fulfilled?

Take a chance and believe his words for truths. If he’s investing his time and energy into you, why would he mislead you?  And if he’s protecting you, then well wouldn’t you rather one who wants to block you from hurt than one who digs into a wound further than need be?  Is it so hard to believe that you are deservant of the very best?  That someone is attracted to you, all of you, quirks et al?

We are all so very hard on ourselves.  It’s as if – at the sign of any trouble – we choose flight over fright, in a self-protective measure.  We lie to ourselves and say it is better to run than to believe truths.  Like someone might more than like you.  That someone else that was once in the picture may no longer be in it or have any affect on their present.  That you are beautiful and important and special in every which way.  That you have their undivided attention when they are alone, with you.

To date is to live is to trust.  Yes, a man who knows to give you reassurance when you need it most, who doesn’t run from your need for such a thing and totally gets it is – what I like to call – a catch.  But be aware of how helpless he might feel.  For if you keep asking him to repeat that which he already has, you are showing him your lack of trust; your extreme doubt.  And that is the same point where their insecurities will come out, in fear that you might run, and so a cycle begins.

In a day in age that we call our twentysomethings; an age where many of us have already been hurt, at least once to a breaking point, it’s important to accept apologies and efforts and not running for what it is.  It is a sign this person cares.  Now it’s time for you to do the same.

- Jenny Jen

Photo: Property of jenkirsch.com.

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3 thoughts on “Doubting his words when they are all you want to hear

  1. Jen your advice is spot on! It’s amazing how so many of the insecurities of your 20′s melt away by your 30′s. I think there comes a time where you accept words of wisdom like this for what they are, namely, wisdom! The sooner you embrace it the sooner you can get on accepting the good in others and banishing the self doubts.

    I’ll put this on my list of tweets for today. Have a lovely day lovely lady,
    Grace

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