Having a guy on standby is quite common for us women who have come to the end of our current relationship. It’s nothing new to us. There’s no time like the now to delve a little deeper into the phenomena of finding a match more compatible than the guy who turned out not to be The One. Too bad that realization only hits once you walk away from a pointless relationship.
When we’re with one specific guy, our relationship with him (and what he displays) sets a precedent and we have nothing to compare it to. So we accept status quo and I’m sure are charmed with some things, but we avoid some other things because we don’t really realize how bad they are. But once we give someone else our attention, our lust, we are presented with a whole new set of standards. It’s refreshing. It’s a nice change of pace. It’s easy to watch and it keeps you on your toes, not knowing what is next to come.
Moving on is about realizing there is someone better than the one you were with for all that time; an upgrade, a one-up, a better man.
How often we hold on to ideas of someone we idealize despite the obvious red flags and downfalls. Out of comfort we cling onto our notions that they are the one for us and settle with what they are providing us with, because we don’t know any better. We allow ourselves to take scraps, seeing them as much more than what they really are. We get so wrapped up in routine, habit, and comfort that we become fools, oblivious to the fact we could have it so much better.
Walk out from that shadow and, once healed from your break up, give some other lucky gent your attention. Give it to him with no expectations in return. You can’t be disappointed when you just let things be. If anything, it becomes an eye opener that – while you were so fixated on one thing – you prematurely judged everything and you failed to realize that there’s so much more out there. More right; less wrong, more than just okay.
Give it a shot. I guarantee you’ll be pleasantly surprised and – dare I say – mildly embarrassed that what you thought was the be-all and end-all was just comfort in disguise. New men challenge you to look at what you really want, who you really are and open your eyes to new possibilities. Now that just might be a rebound you want to hold onto.
- Jenny Jen
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