You met when you were younger. Younger could mean in your University days. Perhaps you had chemistry. Perhaps you had a fling. But then you met someone and he met someone and – though you thought about each other from time to time, and that chaotically charismatic chemistry you shared – that was then and this is now. That is until you get together for a friendly, good intentioned rendez-vous (which you both keep from your then partners) and that chemistry, that overriding attraction, is still there. And then when both your relationships fizzle out the way relationships often do around the end of University days, you start dating. Like trying things for real. To see if you can work as a couple. Doing couple-like things.
On and off relationships. Chemistry. That indescribable magnetic feeling you have with one more than anyone else. To have them in your life. Then to realize there isn’t much else there other than that feeling. To let them go then start right back again when you run into each other a year later, than the next year, than after a break up, you catch the drift. Most of us – it’s safe to say – have a person like this in our lives. Over the years and the trying to date, and meeting each others parents and friends, and trying to live together and then cutting each other off cold turkey to wanting to rip their clothes off the next time you see them after a few years pass, makes sense. Because over time we develop a comfort; we develop a safety net, if you will. Someone who knows you. Who gets you. To let you sleep on his side of the bed. Who knows how to push your buttons (pun intended) knows how to read you almost better than you know how to read yourself. So the question that begs to be asked is: is that reason enough to be with someone?
I love at weddings hearing the ‘how we met’ love stories. The ‘we used to date and she broke my heart but then we ended up together years later’ and the ‘I’ve been chasing him for years,’ and the ‘I knew then something was there.’ But with that in mind, if someone is truly meant for you would they risk losing you? They say timing is everything. People are believed to come into our lives at certain times for certain reasons. Maybe it’s to remind us that chemistry exists in the world. Maybe it’s an opportunity for us to see our growth. Maybe it is because that magnetic feeling in which you share is one that you won’t get the opportunity to share with anyone else, as chaotic and yet explanatory that that is. Whatever it is, once you are aware of the over-riding purpose this its-been-a-long-time-running person has in your life, you’ll be able to know what to do with them for once and for all. There are no rights. There are no wrongs. Those who judge do so in a protective way, not in a negatively judgmental one. Act and do based on your gut, not what you might think others might think. To be happy you need to hold on tight to that one person who does just that for you.
- Jenny Jen
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