A sister by any other name

She is there for you when you want to hit the town on but a random weekday.  She’s there for you when she knows way better than you that it’s time to call it a night.  She’s there for you to pull you away from sticky situations that seem really rather romantic at the time.  And she’s there for you the morning after, without judgment and with a venti tea in her car cup-holders for you both.

She’s that girl that you can count on.  That you can laugh with.  That you can just enjoy the moment with.  She never makes you defend.  She never makes you feel less than.  She tells you how it is point blank, and allows you to just be you – even if you don’t listen to her. She challenges you, instead of sugar coating things while kissing your well-clad feet, like other more superficial friends.  She is the first to acknowledge both your good and your bad, both with the same tone, again a reflection of her non-judgmental persona.

This girl is also known as a fabulous friend.  Friends like these don’t come around often.  When you have one in your life, cherish their genuine nature.  Their authenticity.  Learn from what they offer you and offer that to others in your life which you love and have a comradery with.  Often people are there to pat us on our backs, a to raise a glass with us when the going is good.  But it’s those who are there for the good, the bad and the great who can be deemed true friends.  Who we know we can call upon, without feeling uncomfortable, or awkward or like we’ll be gossiped about for just being.

We choose friends very similarly to how we choose our mates.  We tend to want friends that we can’t get enough of being around.  Who make us laugh and are there for us when we cry.  Who act as more than a mirror by pointing out things we tend to overlook, a commonality when clouded by emotions.

People often go to certain friends for certain reasons.  You may have that one friend who you tell your deep dark secrets to (like your late-night eat confessions) and you may have that one friend who you share your successes with.  You may have a friend you talk about your conquests with, and another who you go to for advice.  But the friends who are the most real are the ones who you can go to for all the above.  You shouldn’t need to edit out details or divulge the world.  You should just be able to be your outrageously, fantastic, strong self and have a partner in crime to be that person with.  Take a look at your friendships and if this doesn’t ring true for them – if you don’t have a ‘she’ like I’ve listed above – then it’s time to re-evaluate and seek something deeper.

Like relationships, true friends are hard to find.  But once you have them, only love radiates.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

Now and then

As life happens, we often miss the little things.  Like the fact that we are no longer the brunette we were when younger, and now have goldilockes-like hair that we wished we were born with.  Or that we are in a relationship with a prince-charming-type who wines us and dines us and treats us just like we read about in fairy tales as we were growing up.  We take our haves for granted and often worry about and feel less-than about our have nots.  And yet, if our younger self could converse with who we have become, I bet they’d be pretty in awe, don’t you?

For those of you who have got lost in the day-to-day happenings and have missed the growth you’ve gone through over the past 10, 20 years, then take some time to think about this.  Lay down one day when you have some time to kill and look at yourself from the eyes of your eight year old self.  What does she like?  What doesn’t she like?  What impresses her?  What concerns her?

I was told to do this activity during an eight-week course in Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR.)  On occasion, I do this activity and I always find it quite heartwarming; quite eye opening.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

How to play it cool post hook up

You wake up at his place, hair looking something like a rats nest, black eyeliner smudged around your pretty little eyes.  You don’t want to move much or breath too deep in fear of waking him up; him being that same person you went home with last night.

Before you do that, you need to decide your plan of action.  Do you escape, try to shove yourself back into last nights dress hoping not to run into anyone on your elevator ride down to reality?  Do you lay there, still, waiting for him to say something?  To make the first move?  Protocal is somewhat baffling in a situation such as this.  Many of us want to stay and cuddle and be taken to brunch, but we don’t want to be seen as a stage five clinger, so instead of doing what we really want we call a cab and book it out.

What if, instead of playing a game, wary of how you come off, you decided to just act naturally?  Like waking him up with some oh-goodmorning! nookie?  Or what if you’re at your place and you bring him in a fresh coffee to have on his bedside for when he wakes up?  We often wonder why we don’t hear from guys after one night stands, but sometimes the answer is just so obvious.  We put up these walls, we play the tough cookie act, and it works because instead of him being annoyed by our over-attentiveness, he is thrown off by our overly-undramatic carelessness.

Stop filling your mind with what if’s and stories and creating concerns.  If he didn’t want you there, you wouldn’t be there and vice versa.  Relax, don’t run (unless you have somewhere to be,) and just be your fun, confident, loving self.  You’re not over staying your welcome if he invites you for breakfast but you are if he runs off a list of all that he’s got going on for the day.  Know how to properly assess the situation, and then do what’s natural and not what you think he wants you to do.  We are often the writers of our own downfalls, without even realizing.  Don’t make that mistake my little miss hit and run, you!

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.