When we dated in our teens, in our university days and a bit beyond that, we were really rather caught up in the whole where-do-we-stand thing. From inner monologues to full-fledged what-do-you-think-he’s-thinking long-winded talks with friends, we would try to figure out, ultimately seeking a label. As if a label means something. As if calling it hooking up versus dating versus boyfriend makes a difference. Yet somehow we convinced ourselves that was so. So, now that we’re in the latter part of our twentysomethings borderline going onto our thirtysomething, what’s in a name?
I laugh at the nonsense both myself and fellow friends would indulge in; waiting days, weeks, months to ask a dude where we stood/what we are in fear of rocking the boat. In fear of hearing what we hoped we wouldn’t. But now our brilliant blonde bronzed selves wouldn’t date wait and worry and wonder. No. We are women, hear us roar. We can speak up when we have a query. We can ask the lucky gent who is blessed with the honour of hooking up with us just what we want to ask the moment it comes to mind. Because we can. Welcome to adult hood. We made it!
That instant that you doubt asking something, please roll your eyes at yourself for me, and then just do it; just ask. Get out of your head and live in the real world where people say what they mean. Where we can be real and be ourselves out of fear of judgment. If the guy is thrown of by but a simple inquiry, he really doesn’t deserve the honour of your foxy little presence now, does he?
Oh and feel free to tell him what you want and need in your current situation. Since we know many of live off of making assumptions, you can pay it forward by doing him the favour of letting home know where you stand; letting him know what up.
- Jenny Jen
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