She’s on a cleanse. He’s on a cleanse. Apparently everyone and their mothers are on a cleanse these days. Seeing as though I like to be an in-the-know kind of gal about town, I thought the time is now to hop onto the cleanse bandwagon, because surely that’s what it is.
The mind frame: I practice yoga daily, I maintain a healthy lifestyle, participating in a two-day cleanse from Total Cleanse would be an easy feat, right? Hook it up. I loved the idea that the hydrating juices could give me natural energy and nutrients, said to clear the mind, boost energy, and potentially lead to weight loss (bonus perk, non?) Since I’m always on the go, I had a lust for the concept that all I needed to do was bring the juices along with me on my day out and not have to worry about my usual packing a lunch thing. Yes, I do that (read: healthy.)
The process was pretty simple. The juices were delivered in a cooler at my doorstep and were labeled so I knew exactly what order to drink them in. Though seeing as though I’m blonde I was still kind of confused and had to call the Total Cleanse hotline (thankfully my call was answered and I was reassured asap.) The next day I was ever so excited to go to the fridge and indulge in my first juice, aptly called “Green juice.” It looked and tasted exactly how it sounds, but I fought the war (and the war one) because the idea it can clear my system was just what I needed after the long weekend of indulgences I had previously. The second juice of a berry variety surprised me, as it was one of the most delicious juices that I ever did see. Problem is, my daily intake only offered one of those. Close up on the two green juices, and another handful that made up my day. Day one that is.
But as the day moved forward, cravings for everything but the choices provided in my cleanse started to kick in. I texted some of my besties to see how – for the love of god – they held it together doing the 3 and 5 day cleanses from Total Cleanse. Monthly. They answered easily, with the same answer I give to others on how I maintain a daily yoga practice: Because the benefits and how you feel after far outweigh the in-the-moment displeasure of the taste (which, rumor has it grows on you.)
You know when the saying how we all want what we can’t have? Of course you do, you’re human. You have curly hair, you want straight. You have losers vying for your attention and you want the ass hole you can’t reach. Well let’s just say it resulted in me eating a banana split with all the fixings as an appetizer with my girlfriends, just hours in.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a gemini, so I am very black and white/all or nothing, but I just couldn’t maintain the self-control to not give into that in which I wanted to indulge in. I feel terrible admitting it, because I know I would’ve felt proud as ever had I just battled it out, but it just wasn’t for me. I’ve accepted that and can own that and admit it vis-à-vis this blog post.
If you’re better at self-control, commitment and want to clear your body of the toxins and start anew, I highly recommend at least attempting a cleanse. Perhaps by taking in back in a crystal flute, a martini cup, or a glass of your choice might make you warm up to the idea of at all. Oh but if you manage to get through it and feel like a total babe, don’t tell me. It will only make me feel worse about myself. Ugh.
- Jenny Jen
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