Text, Facebook, Tweet, Complete

To switch from text to Facebook message means you want to ensure he gets your message.  Means you want the semi-psychotic knowingness that no, his cell didn’t go missing, no he isn’t out of cell range, no his cell didn’t get stolen and so he has no access to his texts or numbers to get a hold of your pretty little self.  The good ‘ol Facebook message is a go-to for us as a last attempt.  A last hurrah.  A last voyage from fantasy land back to black-and-white reality.  Because a Facebook message comes with a certainty that it will be picked up (especially when they have a whole lotta recent online activity.)

The thing with sending a Facebook private message is – not only does it go to the person’s inbox, which may I note, can be accessed on any computer, but – it also likely goes directly to their telephone, oh and their email too.  One way or another, boy is getting notified and you can’t pretend that he just hasn’t been on Facebook or looked at a phone or an email, especially if he has updated his status or been active on Facebook since your message has been sent.

Sure, sometimes messages pile up.  Sure you may get a message on your phone, only to be interrupted by life and not have the chance to write back and may even forget, but that message still sits in your inbox.  That same inbox that is your cell, your Facebook, your email, as aforementioned.

Whereas a text is more personable.  More direct.   More me to you with no chance (one hopes) of another seeing, text is just the younger sister to the big brother that is Facebook private message.  Though not as stark, cold and businesslike as email, it gives you more words to use.  It gives you the chance to say what you will.

If you’ve texted a guy of your fancy and he hasn’t been the kind soul that you thought he once was in messaging you back, then I permit you to fall back upon the Facebook message.  But just one so make sure you say what you need to/want to.  No one likes mass messages, especially ones that show you clearly aren’t taking the hint.  If he doesn’t have the decency to write back, consider yourself lucky.  You learned more about him by his lack of response then you would have hanging around him.  Blessing in disguise, blondie.

- Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

The logistics of a breakup

Like the who gets custody of which restaurants, and tea shops, and friends, and the works.  Because let’s be real here, there is always one person who wins and one who loses when a breakup becomes them.  Because as chilled and as cool and as lets-pretend-THAT-didn’t-happen as we want to be, people always are forced to take one side or another; people are always affected, try to avoid it as they might.

It goes a little something like this: outside friends remain pleasant to both sides at the beginning, but then slowly gravitate towards one of the two.  They see things, hear things and just naturally leave the other behind, balancing not being a twentysomethings’ forte.

And so is what is to be expected when things end.  We should expect and accept change, and what is change without a little discomfort, a little realization, a little growth?  To go through an experience such as heartbreak and then the inevitable heartbreak, it is usually quite easy to observe who your truest and closest and most loyal are.  And, as time goes on, those left in the past won’t matter much anymore; won’t have an affect on you in any which way.  Time, a gift we take for granted.

But what if this shared connection is one you depend on for some sort of work?  For some sort of service?  Is it right for them to choose sides?  To no longer have you as a client?  To just do work for one or for the other?  This my friends, is a situation that’s just a little more foggy, just a little more grey, just a little more bridge-burning and borderline tip-toeing for the monkey in the middle.

The answer: Approach the situation to get what you need, daring not to mention the aforementioned.  Stick to business, be the class act that you are, get’r done, head held high, et al.  We often put in so much thought (and by so much, I mean too much,) into what this person caught in the trifecta of your breakup might be thinking.  But little lady, you’re giving yourself way too much credit (no offense.)  People care about their work, getting their jobs done and about themselves.  Sure they might make mention to your former flame that they saw you, but all the more motivation for you to be your best, drama-free, elegant little self, non?

- Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

The purely accidental leave behind

You go to put on some bling to up the ante on just an ordinary look, to make it more Saturday night than Saturday afternoon, when you realize your two newest, go-to necklaces are M to the I to the A.  “Fuck,” you think as you play a montage in your head of taking them off the morning after, giving them to the guy you spent the night with to put in his jacket pocket (because god forbid someone see’s you wearing that much sparkle on an overcast Monday morning.)  Spotted: the walk of shame.  No, you don’t do shame well.  But look at you now, floating in it.  Though it feels like drowning.

The leave behind is something us women tend to do when we want to see a guy again but don’t have the certainty that we will.  We leave a little something on his dresser/in his car/by his kitchen sink to either: make our mark so he re-calls us and then calls us to give it back, or so – just in case we don’t hear from him – we can call on him “fetching” our lost and found item using it as an excuse to create contact.

But in our latter twentysomethings when we need not leave anything behind but our dignity, it becomes somewhat unfortunate when that guy has something valuable of yours.  Something that holds sentiment that you can’t really shrug your shoulders about and write off.

So now what?  How can you save face and call upon this guy (which you haven’t heard back from) to get your stuff back, without looking borderline stalkeresque?  How can you message him if you messaged him a bit ago to make plans and never heard from him?

I usually say that it’s not worth getting back and that is the best money you can spend because trying to not look like a crazy bitch is, well, priceless.  But when it’s a piece or an item that has that value I spoke of earlier, you’re going to have to be as authentic as possible and let the dude know what up.

My, it’s such a shame when you can be so sly and do the leave behind with purpose, with intention, but to accidentally forget something is a rookie move.  Same goes for accidentally taking something with you, like a phone charger perhaps which you’re known to travel with in your over sized ysl bag.  If only you had your head on straight.  If only it didn’t appear like you were playing games when you full well weren’t.

I think at this stage, if someone has something of yours or you take something by mistake and you need or they need it back, just let them know in a no pressure/we-don’t-have-to-even-run-into-each-other kind of way.  Put the method of exchange and the way they wish to respond in their hands.  How they respond will say much about their character and perhaps even their thoughts towards you.  And hey, maybe, just maybe, this was all meant to happen for a reason and could even lead to a round two?  Too soon?

- Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.