Birthday Ex

I’m going to answer your question right of the bat: No, I did not forget the letter ‘S’ in this blog posts’ title. There is already an overplayed song about it and I would be stating the obvious to write a blog post about it. What I am writing about today is the etiquette of how to handle an ex’s birthday.


There are a few options:

- ignore it and don’t acknowledge it. He has friends and family and people who love him who can wish him happy birthday. Sending a message or placing a call will just throw him off. He may wonder what your happy birthday meant. Ignoring it steers clear of any mixed messages.

- send him a text or a private message on Facebook. This friendly gesture let’s him know you’re thinking of him and allows you to keep your distance. After spending a portion of your life with this person, and opening up your heart to them, it is a thoughtful and civil thing to do. If things ended well with the two of you and you have lost touch since the break up, this is the best decision. After two years of breaking up it isn’t necessary but the first two years following is game. And pat yourself on the back for being a sweetheart.

- call him. Again, if things didn’t end well, this isn’t the right option. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you have to deal with an awkward and unnecessary conversation based on small talk. We are twentysomething women. If things ended well and ended recently, a phone call is in the clear. It shows maturity and care. Just keep it short and know when to hang up the phone.

If things didn’t end well or if he wants to get back together:

- leave the poor guy alone. Or at least wait til the end of the day so he doesn’t think it’s on the top of your head. I think you may be opening a can of worms and you may just be trying to be sweet, but trust me honey, it isn’t the right thing to do. Instead of sending him a text, email or whatever form of communication you may choose, maybe his day of birth would be a good day to have a friend on call just incase you feel the urge to contact him.

If things ended in an uncertain state and you want to get back together:

- send him a text or give him a call in the evening. By this point, he’ll be so shocked that he didn’t hear from you yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sitting (phone in hand) ready to reply to your message.

No matter what option you choose, the past is in the past. Once we reach out, we are silently asking for something in return without even knowing it; we are asking for a response, and us being women, we are bound to take whatever the response is out of proportion. So use the best option to your discretion.

- Jenny Jen

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