The perfect fit

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How do you know when you’ve met ‘The One?’ And what makes said one different than the others? They say that when you meet The One, you just know it. The same thing they say on how to decide which wedding gown to choose. You just know. But what about us twentysomethings who don’t just know? Does that mean it’s not meant to be, or that ‘they’ don’t have it right?

In a day in age where accessibility to others is at our fingertips, it’s not so clear cut as it always once was. Because what if we’re totes happy with our dude, but then we meet someone out who just happens to add us on Twitter, who just happens to start DM’ing you, who you decide to kinda innocently add of Facebook (but you feel guilty about it,) who you start texting because your boyfriend is busy who you start Snapchatting with…Does this mean you’re emotionally cheating? Does this mean you guy isn’t for you? Not necessarily. We sadly know no better because lets face it, this is the way things are these days. But at the same time, it doesn’t make it “okay.” Oh and it sure adds a hell of confusion on your current sitch. So what’s a girl with an ego that likes to be fed when her cup has runneth empty? Reflect.

Ask yourself the following:

- does your partner make you a better person?
- love your flaws and quirks?
- do you love them for all they are without a need to “change” him in any way?
- are you currently happy?
- are your arguments immediately and easily resolved?
- do you miss your partner or long for them when you’re apart?
- do you often catch yourself smiling, just because?
- do you guys make plans for six months from now?
- do you discuss kids and marriage and are on the same page?
- have you grown as a person since being with them?
- do you catch yourself leaving events and gettogethers early so you can go home and cuddle up with him?

We are our own best enemies. Have always been, and always will be. The need to self-sabatage has been made ever-so-easy thanks to apps and social media sites alike. Flirting is all well and good, unless you feel the need to hide it from your partner. As soon as you lie or omit the real story, is the same time you need to really question yourself, your wants and where your at. If your partner is who you think just might be The One, don’t mess it up. Don’t deceive. When you try to quench your thirst for attention elsewhere, you’ll create a bottomless cup for your partner. Be honest with whatever it is that’s missing in your relationship that causes your big brown eyes to look elsewhere, and express that to your partner so they can give you what you need.

No one really knows if the person their with is the one, not even those who are married. We see this when people get remarried or widowed. There are so many people out there for us and all come in at different points in our so called life to help us grow in different ways, needed at the time. Stop questioning and just be. Be happy. Be loved. Love in return and do your best for things to work out for the best.

- Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

Fuck Cancer

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How sad it is that many of us have lost loved ones to something we have no control over, cancer. And though we have to accept our circumstances and cope the best way we can, there’s still something we can do: support the cause by donating money to cancer research and raising awareness about cancer prevention, to help save those who are currently battling. So often our conversations fail to discuss such a huge issue, since it makes many uncomfortable, but there are many ways we can make a difference.

I arrived back to Toronto today from Jamaica, and can’t help but thinking about a guy I met there. This twentysomething was there with a buddy of his. When I asked about their week long getaway at the Iberostar in Jamaica where I was also staying, he told me that he flew him and his friend out for a week, since his buddy is having a difficult time dealing with the recent loss of his mom. I was so touched and warmed by the generousity – and further more, consideration – of this guy. I was blown away with how supportive he was of his friends loss.

When we have friends or family members who are coping with loss, we ourselves are at a loss of words of what to say, what to do, how to act. This results in many of us avoiding the topic all together, further isolating the one who is going through loss.

So how can we make a difference? By showing our support. For those of you in Toronto this weekend, I highly suggest coming out to the annual FUCK Cancer event, at Cinema. The proceeds of the $40 ticket will go towards research and surgical innovation at UHN. You can purchase tickets here and get in the conversation on Twitter here.

- Jenny Jen

#savesecondbase #fuckcancer

Something in the air

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On most days, I frequent a Starbucks in my locale. I used to drive all the way downtown, to my fave cafe in all of Toronto, Ezra’s Pound, whose environment I’m still certain brought out my utmost creativity. But as I caught myself driving back and forth in traffic, looking for downtown parking, ensuring I only stayed at said cafe long enough to avoid an inevitable parking ticket for inhibiting a spot on the road for over two-plus hours, I made a grand (and much needed) realization. That the environment in which I surround myself in, shouldn’t matter as much as feeling confident and comfortable in the environment of my own mind. I realized that it was about high time (a handful of parking tickets to be paid later) that I become more adaptable; more realistic. More brave.

I decided to go to just your everyday, basic, Starbucks, the one closest to my abode up in the suburbs. At first I missed the quirky indie music, and the edgy looking baristas. But then, something magical happened; I created a home. I inevitably developed relationships with regulars and baristas alike. I begun both looking forward to – and loathing – our transactions (the latter due to being deadline ridden and not being able to be abrupt and end conversation.) It is through consistency that I was able to develop strong bonds and a comfort next to none. These are the people in my neighbourhood. Mothers, children, elders, police, and the people who work at the grocery store in the same plaza. I have a Starbucks dad – a man who is currently in the hospital and who I miss dearly, everyday when the clock hits 3:30pm and he fails to enter this specific Starbucks.

It’s really rather wondrous the bonds we create if only we allow ourselves to do just that. Ezra’s Pound, a cafe only open until 4:30pm, was a place for us ‘artistic’ types to go and work on our scripts/music/articles alike. This didn’t call for much conversation as – if you know anything about artists – we are all narcissists at heart. So to enter into a completely different world, whether it be commercial or what not, was to open myself up to change.

I now look forward to certain scenes that tend to play on repeat here. The elderly-80something couple who spend time at a table with books, newspaper, banter and hand holding, despite their inability to barely be able to walk to the counter. I admire the women who come here in their workout gear, making time to engage with their friends despite an obviously busy life.

An interesting thing happens when you take in your surroundings. You learn. You grow. You blossom. And know too, that you just being present has an equal effect on others as well.

- Jenny Jen

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